17.09.2012

fell apart again today

sitting alone in the bathroom

on a sunny day

couldn’t stop the tears from flowing

remembering

regretting

should have but didn’t

and can’t change it now

 

this time last year

I believed

everything would be ok

you would be ok

this was just a blip

and all would be well eventually

I watched other patients

who had beaten the disease

and I believed you would be one of them

 

but things turned horribly wrong

and now you’re gone

and I am sitting in the bathroom

sobbing uncontrollably

reliving the last year over in my mind

 

I told you to believe

to not give up hope

I kept saying you would beat this

even when you knew you wouldn’t

you kept trying

you didn’t want to die

you didn’t want to leave us

 

you ask me to bring you home

said it would only be a few days

you knew

but I didn’t bring you home

you trusted me

and I let you down

I couldn’t make this right

no matter how hard I tried

 

so hard to accept that we won’t ever see you again

so many things I should have said and done

now it is too late

and the tears flow again

 

© Tallulah 2012

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About Tallulah

Writer, Photographer, Artist. Animal Welfare Advocate. Wildlife and Environmental Advocate.
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